Upper Gastrointestinal Endoscopy PartII

17 Oct

The day before you have an Upper Gastrointestinal Endoscopy you have to stop eating. Sure you can have juice, broth and Gatorade but let’s get real it sucks to not eat solid food . Liquid Diets are a glimpse into a life where you’re always hungry and left unsatisfied.-to my Puter’s with a condition where you have to do this, my heart goes out to you.-I was dreaming about the food I would have the next day-I could still eat gluten-and starting to freak out about the procedure. I’ve seen those news stories and lots of places are unclean. Worst of all, I get bitchy when I’m hungry and the worst headaches! Liquid Diets take me to a place in my horrible childhood when I would tell my mom I was still hungry and she would say,”Go drink water!” That is the anthem for poor hungry kids around the world! Go drink water my ass!

The morning of the endoscopy I was thirsty and hungry and weak as f*k. When I’m hungry my stomach tends to cramp horribly to the point I want to throw up.-in school it was a nightmare waiting for lunch after recess. Remember that kid who always had a growling stomach, yeah that was me!-When we got to the place it wasn’t a hospital but more like a clinic where they move you in and out.-so many old people! That’s exactly what I want to see, old people looking at me wondering why I’m here!-My husband was really uneasy about the place, especially after one of the receptionist was rude to him. He wanted to bail but I told him, “I’ve come this far and like you said it’s not a major surgery”. We sat down and waited…then they called me into a room.
This is where they register you and ask a bunch of questions,-why are you here? Medical history, anything they should know, that kind of thing-then they give you a wrist band and make you wait, again.

When it was my turn to go have the procedure I kissed my daughter and husband goodbye, and was told I would see them in 3 to 4 hours. I went through a door into a huge room with beds separated by curtains and chairs with people waiting in them. It was really busy and I was really scared, this was some gastrointestinal clinic. I was starting to think my husband was right, but I’d come this far-also I puked up bood, I want to know what that was from-.This woman took me to an empty bed and told me to undress and put on a gown.-I really wished my daughter and husband were there with me in that room-I put my belongings into a plastic bag under the bed and waited. The lady came back with a tray with needles and one of those liquid bags. I thought this is it, no turning back now.
She told me to lay back and got the liquid bag ready. I asked her what was it for and she said it was fluid to keep me hydrated.-anyone really know what’s in that bag?-When she was done with the bag she got the needle ready and told me to hold out my hand. She stuck it in and hooked the bag up to it.
“You’ll feel a slight burning sensation in our hand as the fluid enters your body”, she said. Slight burning sensation my ass!-does anyone really know what’s in that bag cause that shit ain’t water!-She began cleaning up as my hand began burning very badly; as she was leaving she said,”If there’s anything I can do let me know.”I felt that fluid in my hand and crawl up my arm. It’s extremely freaky, and just the thought if it is making me sick-you”ll know why later-. I layed back on the bed and listened to the people being wheeled in and out. The sounds of people’s moans and farts. Yes, I did say farts!-that’s something else I want to hear before going in!-
When it was my turned to be wheeled in, I thought,”Where the he’ll am I going to go?!” Through the opened curtain and around the people waiting in the seats we went through another door. In this room were a couple of guys I didn’t see before and a monitor and lots of medical stuff.-it was freaky how everything was contained in this room-One if the guys was cleaning the camera because I could see it on the monitor. They said their names and said what they were going to the doing. They lady helped me turn on my back and put a mask on my face. I told them the mask smelled really bad-like airy plastic-,one of the guys said don’t worry I’ll be asleep soon and awake in no time. All I remember thinking was this shit smells really bad! Is it safe to breathe in plastic?

I remember waking up in one of those curtain sectionals and wanting to get the hell out of there.-especially getting that needle out of my hand!-I started thinking about random trivia to get my mind right. I was doing that Uma Thurman Kill Bill wiggle your big toe thing. I was ready to go. I started calling out,”Ello? Anyone, Anyone out there?” a nurse came in. I told her I was ready to go, she asked when I had the procedure I told her I didn’t know. She went to ask someone and when came back she informed me it was too early. I told her I was feeling well enough and she could take me off the fluid bag. She left and asked again, came back and unhooked me. When she left and again saying,”I come and get you in a little while then you can have a seat in the waiting area.” I thought that’s what those chairs are for. I wanted to eat, sleep and most of all get out of there. After a while when the lady said I could sit in the waiting area, my legs were woozy but I kept it together. I was waiting in the chair for about 15mins, when the lady said I’ll call your ride now. -you’re just going to call now!!-I had to wait another 15mins for my family, all the while building up anger of having to wait-also being extremely hungry-
When they finally called my name I jumped up. I said bye to this one lady who was cool and meet up with my family. My husband said see your not dead, I chuckled and wanted to eat!
I told my husband about the hand needle and plastic smell. He said that’s what the stuff that puts you to sleep smells like; they just don’t tell you that because they want you to go to sleep instead of thinking about the smell. All I knew was I wanted to eat and we went to The Hat. I was charged for a dip that wasn’t.-Shame on you for messing with a girl’s last chance to eat gluten!-They say you shouldn’t eat solid foods right away, I tried! Your stomach is still really tight, although my throat didn’t hurt. So take it slow with liquids as my stommy-stomach/tummy-was hurting off the bites I did get down.
~*~Gluten Putin~*~

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